Discussion: Family Life by Akhil Sharma

I have a colleague, S., who recently worked with me on a school event.  Unlike many other helpers, well-meaning as they may be, S., didn't have to ask much of anything.  She put clues together and made decisions about where things belonged, how to set materials up, quickly and accurately.  Later after the event was over, I told her what a gift she had.  And she said something like this:  "When your parents are immigrants, and don't understand the culture or the language, you have to figure out things for yourself at a very young age. You have no one to ask questions of."

What has this to do with Family Life?  The main character, Ajay, really the author, came from India to the United States as a boy of 8; and like S. worked to  figure things out on his own. (And not only because his parents had trouble navigating a new culture, but also because they were absorbed by a horrific tragedy.)

In particular,  after reading a Hemingway bio, Ajay works on his own to figure out how to be a writer.  He goes on to  read one Hemingway critique after another to learn how he approached writing.  (Later on when he finally reads Hemingway, he  discovers that he likes reading the critiques more than the work itself.)  Similarly as described in his  New Yorker essay, Sharma, the author, describes how he meticulously analyzed famous writers' work to find out how to approach writing Family Life.  We read the essay aloud and spent a lot of time talking about  the arduous 12 1/2 year process during which he wrote 7000 pages in order to eventually arrive at the  224 page novel.

Sharma wonders in that essay, if it was the best way to have spent his time.  Most members felt glad that he had and that he had succeeded in creating a novel that as one member put it, paraphrased:  "I wanted to eat." (I like that image better than the more overused word-devour.) Well all, except one. (The dissenter just did not relate to the humor in this book; and she did not feel that Sharma was successful in overcoming the tediousness of the family's tragedy.) This novel, which to some should have been a memoir, was centered on horrific loss.  But yet, the book's humanity, truthfulness, exposition of interesting cultural differences, poignancy keeps you reading and as Sharma hopes,  it moves "like a rocket."

It is the ending that moves too fast for most of us.  And the last line that led to speculation.
Why now that he saw and felt that he would find happiness did he write:  "The happiness was almost heavy.  That was when I knew I had a problem."

Some thoughts:
When you are open to happiness., you are open to other feelings including despair.
When you find love with someone you are  vulnerable to their loss.

And from R. the sponsor who couldn't attend the meeting:

As for the last line in the novel...I think it refers to the feelings
that he described in the interview.  He feels SHAME that his own life
is going well—when his brother's life is doomed.  The happier he
is—the greater the shame.  I would be interested to hear what others
think.