Are You My Mother? Book Discussion

I knew it was not a hit when I got...hit...literally with the book.  A slap on the wrist, but a physical hit anyway.  Tired and unprepared...this sponsor thought the meeting was the following week--should have read the blog!

It all started in September when I brought both of Bechdel's books to recommend.  50-50.  I went with this instead of the more positively reviewed Fun Home because I thought the theme of Motherhood would resonate more with our group.   As I scanned the book hours before the meeting--I was going to leisurely reread it over the weekend, I could remember how dense the psychological passages were.  And that is where the book was hit hardest by members.

The hypotheses that Winnicott came up with were male oriented analysis of motherhood.  One that this group from the 1960s and 70s railed against in their struggles to define their role as mothers and women. Couldn't defend him very well--because some of his ideas are bizarre and pedantic and obscure--but he got the transitional object thing down among others.[  I did say you could read this book differently...like the Magic School Bus Books(such a science teacher)--you don't have to read all of the dense text...you can focus on the dialogue and the art.]

That's not all!  Members disliked Bechdel and her coming of age angst that lasted til she was in her menopausal 40s and possibly beyond.  They hated that she  was  still struggling to connect with her mother  and regain the intimacy they shared when she was 3 months old.   They commiserated with the mother who just didn't want to face her husband's tragic life or become intimately involved with her daughter's adult life.  "It's none of my business."  A phrase that members' mothers used or implied.  After a certain age, it is time to separate from your children.

Please note that not all members disliked the book.  But only a handful did like it--25--33% of the entire group?--and even those with some reservations.  Those who liked it, appreciated the creativity of the format and speculated about the future bringing more books written in graphic style.

To those who thought I was upset about the strongly negative reviews, please be assured that I am not upset...book group is a risky business and not for the faint of heart.  I was tired, and annoyed with myself for not being better prepared; that I didn't bring more to the meeting.  What would I have done differently? Reread the book a week in advance.  Researched Winnicott (sp?). I was depending on K.K. to help with the psychology stuff.   Read reviews and brought that analysis to the meeting.  (One review likens Bechdel to Woody Allen--another reason to dislike her?)  Changed my recommendation to Fun Home.  Brought some of her comic strips...Here is a link:


Link to Dykes to Watch out For